NaNoWriMo: A Retrospective
I think I set myself up for failure. National Novel Writing Month was my way of taking on too much. It's not that I'm incapable, it's just that there is only so much a person can do in a given day. Something has to give. In this case, that was NaNoWriMo.
Normally, I would be disappointed in myself and feel like a failure. Elaine from a few days ago would have given into the self-doubt and pity party that only failing at something can bring. But not me as I am now. Post-vacation Elaine is not disappointed in the least. Maybe it's the rest I got or my being away from the routine that's given me perspective, but I feel like I made the right choice.
I have never been prouder of failing.
I've always been a person that's tried to do everything. You know this. I've documented it. In my mind, I can do the laundry, write lesson plans, go to the movies, run three miles and cook a well-balanced dinner from scratch--all in a day. In the words of my lizard friend: "Yeah, right. Not once. Not never." I'm starting to learn this. Finally.
It's not that I've decided to abandon my story or my characters who I love so dearly. It's not that I've given up on writing. After all, isn't that what I'm doing now? I just know that I can't master everything. At least not at the same time. I can't be a kick-ass teacher if I'm trying to become a kick-ass photographer and write a kick-ass novel all while trying to maintain my status as a kick-ass wife, daughter, sister and friend. You get the point.
So this is me saying: yeah, I failed. In front of my readers, no less...all four of you. In the end, though, I did it on my terms. My story deserves better. I deserve better than to try something and fail everything else in the process. It's quite freeing, really.
4 comments:
Great...you got me a picture...of a stick...
It's a Y!
I know. And it's a stick. You could have at least BROUGHT me the stick?
THE TWO OF SOUND LIKE FLIK & DOT FROM "A BUG'S LIFE" Flik: Here, pretend - pretend that that's a seed.
Dot: It's a rock.
Flik: Oh, I know it's a rock, I know. But let's just pretend for a minute that it's a seed, alright? We'll just use our imaginations. Now, now do you see our tree? Everything that made that giant tree is already contained inside this tiny little seed. All it needs is some time, a little bit of sunshine and rain, and voilá!
Dot: This rock will be a tree?
Flik: Seed to tree. You've gotta work with me, here. Alright? Okay. Now, y-you might not feel like you can do much now, but that's just because, well, you're not a tree yet. You just have to give yourself some time. You're still a seed.
Dot: But it's a rock.
Flik: [shouting] I know it's a rock! Don't you think I know a rock when I see a rock? I've spent a lot of time around rocks!
Dot: You're weird, but I like you. HOPE YOU ALL HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING. HJA....
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