Awesome

In the latest installment of Lainey's Terms, we're going to talk about the word Awesome. This might seem obvious but really it's not. Urban Dictionary pretty much sums up this Awesome dilemma when they define the word as "Something Americans use to describe everything." Well, I don't. I only use awesome to describe things that are awe inspiring, mouth-open-where-is-my-camera-spectacular.

Let me explain.

I have created this comparison to give you an example of what I mean. Yeah, the tattoo on the right has a dolphin with its own tattoo sitting on a recliner but the dolphin is smoking a bong, which just doesn't make sense and is also stupid (Say no to drugs, kids). The tattoo on the left, however, is all things awesome. Alone tattoos of My Little Pony and Wolverine can be cheesy but together they make magic happen.

Likewise, this dude is awesome because he's brave enough to walk outside looking like this. And he owns this look!  I mean, he's out and proud. The glasses! The hair!

Then there's this picture. It speaks for itself. Han is playing with so much conviction that you can't call it anything less than AWESOME in all caps.

So now you know. Whenever you see me calling something awesome, you know that I'm not just tossing that word around because I have a limited vocabulary. On the contrary, I've got a great vocabulary--I'm an english teacher for crying out loud! Bottom line, if I say awesome, then it's awesome. No doubt.

Personal Party

So the Metallica concert was yesterday and I'm so ready to write about it. You don't understand, I took notes. In a notepad. I also (of course) photographed  the event with my trusty iphone. It dawned on me, however, that I can't give you a proper recap without laying down some groundwork. You need to get a full understanding of one of my terms in order to appreciate a part of my Metallica concert going experience. Hence, the latest installment of Lainey's Terms: Personal Party.

Let me set the stage: You're driving down the highway on your commute home from work. You happen to glance over to the left and see a guy in the car jamming to the song on the radio. Not just jamming, but singing, doing an interpretive dance, playing drums against the steering wheel, just L-I-V-I-N'. That man, my friends, is having a Personal Party. There is no need for him to share his joy with the rest of the world; he is his best audience.

You would be surprised at how often I use this term in my daily vernacular. People all around this city have Personal Parties. It's brilliant to witness.

This gentleman below is the embodiment of a Personal Party:

He was Mike's buddy last night. We loved him because he was really into the Metallica. REALLY into them. And so made the concert more fun. My notes on Steven*: Boat shoes, Dane Cook T-shirt, awesome. P. Party (it was dark, I had to abbreviate). Though he was a big fan and Mike's concert soulmate, he lost points when he left for the bathroom during "Master of Puppets." Mike even told him something, "Dude, it's 'Master of Puppets.' What are you doing?"  It wasn't enough for Steven to enjoy the encore from the comfort of his seat. No, Steven had to go to the stairs to rock out. He was going to rock so hard that he needed the support of the railing. This is him in a particularly inspired moment. Personal. Party.

(*Note: We never got his name but I find it fitting to name people. He looked like a Steven. Just don't call him Steve; it's a sensitive issue).

Wearing Your Closet

A feature I'm going to add to this here website is "Lainey's Terms." It's been brought to my attention that I say phrases all the time that a regular person would not know. My buddy says that a blog should: Engage, Entertain and Inform. Pay attention because I'm about to smack you with some knowledge.

When I say that someone is "Wearing Their Closet," I mean that they are wearing various generes of clothing at the same time. For example, Mike has yet to buy motorcycle boots or gloves for that matter. So, the love of my life is riding to work on an awesome bike wearing his dress pants and shirt with non-other than his tan construction boots and white batting gloves. Not to mention the big ass black helmet he's obliged to wear. Mike=wearing his closet.

This phrase orginiated in college when a roommate and I coined the term to describe the outfits of our other roommate. Girl wore anything and everything at any given time. She didn't give a flip.

Here are two good examples of someone wearing their closet:

We've got Paris Hilton and some chick wearing God knows what. (Image: The Insider)

Then, there is Britney Spears--the Queen of Closet Wearing. I don't know what's happening here. (Image: The Socialite Life)

Observe the different genres of clothing. You want to be able to identify this when you're out and about or at the very least know what I'm talking about when I point it out. The more you know.

Next up: "Eating Crap." No, you do not ingest poo. It's something along the lines of not paying attention. All will be explained.

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